There has always been troubles and trauma in the world—unpredictable weather, crimes, wars, inconveniences, transgressions, and misfortunes. We let our emotions linger longer than it needs to.
We know from the social sciences that people get “stuck” in negatives more than they do with positives. “Loss frame” is the perspective that we have somehow lost something in a current situation; it can be real or imagined loss, but it feels like it nonetheless. For example, if you are playing a simple game and are told you gained five out of 10 points, you’ll feel more or less good about your efforts. But, if you are told you lost five out of 10 points, the vast majority of people will feel bad about their efforts. Simply, that’s a loss frame.
And, I contend that when we hear about traumatic events happening around the globe it stirs up in us this loss framing, since we are social beings. If others have lost–be it from a hurricane, changing political situations, or war–we feel that frame of the world in the loss category.
As Alison Ledgerwood notes in her TEDxUCDavis talk, “Getting stuck in the negatives (and how to get unstuck),” that, “Our view of the world has a fundamental tendency to tilt toward the negative. It’s pretty easy to go from good to bad, but it’s far harder to shift from bad to good.”
You must do what you can to lean into the positives. And, that’s what I hope to convey in this article. Some strategies and tactics for leaning into the positives when the negatives of your daily workaday world grabs hold of your attention.
Stop ruminating with others. | Building Resilience from Current Events
Have you ever had a bad day? And, your mom, your spouse or friend asks you to “tell you all about it.” You summon all the upsets and scars of the day, and go into it. It is important to express all of your emotions, allowing a space for release. Once verbally expressed, however, it’s time to move towards more constructive positioning. Don’t get stuck in the so-called “dramas” and continue to ruminate over the situation.
As Ledgerwood notes in the above video, it is time to think gratitude not attitude. Come up with a few ways your day was good, even okay. Don’t dote on the negatives of the day; that will simply raise your cortisol levels again and not produce any constructive outputs or feelings. Did someone show appreciation for your work? Were you able to finish a task? Did a coworker tell you a funny story? There is always something positive that happened, so focus on coming up with at least one item to share.
Find opportunities to connect. | Building Resilience from Current Events
Next up is socializing with others. And, I mean others in the sense that we frequently surround ourselves with people similar to us, whether that be race, political affiliation, socioeconomic status, gender, and the like. But, finding opportunities to connect with different people than you is full of positives.
Here are a few considerations:
- Volunteer somewhere.
- Walk in the park, greeting your neighbors.
- Host a potluck dinner for coworkers with whom you don’t frequently interact.
- Call your Democrat or Republican friend and ask them to coffee with the explicit rule that you can only talk about things you agree on.
- Search MeetUp groups and join those with common interests.
- Join your local fitness center.
- Recognize that the list is endless on how you can get engaged!
Meditate on the positives. | Building Resilience from Current Events
Meditation can seem mystical and complex. However, it’s a simple focusing exercise with great benefits. And, you can do this anywhere, anytime, when you feel the negative emotions from traumatic, current events.
When you feel anxiety or worry or anger surface, pay attention to the physical change your body feels when these emotions. When you focus on the physical state of being, you’re meditating. And, when your thoughts drift to other things (which is a part of the process), bring it back to your body. How do you feel right now? Do this for as short or long as you have time available, and need or want. Give yourself the permission to simply feel your body’s shifting emotions.
Now, if you feel uncomfortable with those negative emotions, you can start to focus your out-breaths on the areas where you feel those discomforting feelings. As you breathe out through those areas, you can imagine the air pushing out and away those feelings. Try this until it becomes a vital resilience skill in your emotional toolbox.
Find purpose in doing for others. | Building Resilience from Current Events
Like volunteering from above, by doing something with others in mind, you create a sense of purpose. You see the world from a different level. But, unlike volunteering, finding purpose is an everyday affair. It’s about answering the question “why?” for all your life’s activities, especially when traumatic current events happen.
Going to work or going grocery shopping yet again may seem like a chore, but when you understand that it’s providing for your children, you have found its purpose. Your purpose. And, these are more different when your mind is focused on the plight of global and national catastrophes. Do this purpose-finding for any activity that may seem challenging or mundane, and this will build resilience in the face of negative events.
Kindness is contagious. | Building Resilience from Current Events
You probably already know this, but it bears refresher because the current political and national climate seems to foster the opposite: be kind to yourself and others. Forgive yourself and others. Take the higher road, even if only once per day. Pick a situation where you can choose to be kind, or not. And, choose kindness.
You can even take on a random acts of kindness challenge and do one act per day for 30 days.
We are better together. And, kindness shows ourselves and our fellow Americans that we will be and stay stronger when we’re kind and forgive each other.
In closing: where can you take action?
Much of building resilience in the face of the barrage of negative and traumatic events around the country and world, is about rejecting these feelings of helplessness. We don’t feel like we’re in control of our lives when these events happen. But, you can take small, consistent actions, like the suggestions above, that can really provide a sense of control and perspective. Who can you physically, emotionally or spiritually reach and help? Start with yourself and then branch out.
Try some of these options, and let me know how it goes in the comments!